I didn't want to write about writing here, but it sure was an easy way to get started, so today I'll change the subject, and talk about the catastrophe of home ownership: the garden.

When I was a young man, I rented places, and my landlords paid gardeners to come and care for their gardens. I was oblivious. Eventually, we wanted to have a home where I could raise my family, so we bought our house in the suburbs. Rachel enjoyed gardening, and took care of the garden. I remained oblivious.

Now Rachel is busy with J., and gardening is suddenly my job. Mine alone. And I'm terrible at this job. Gardening is so utterly boring.

It's more boring than raising elephants.

I remember being bored by gardening as a teenager. I remember resenting doing any work in my parents garden, and I remember finding working in gardens for neighbors to be a very hard way to get some pocket money. Unfortunately, gardening doesn't seem to be something I've matured into.

My neighbors are paying the price, and it's not just. I am more interested in justice than in gardening, and so I need to fix the garden eyesore that is our front yard. I wonder what to even do with my garden, but at least I know where to start: the major problem now is the weeds. The weeds are out of control, and everywhere. At least I assume these plants are weeds, because I don't remember them being here before. I've never been able to tell the difference between plants and weeds. I've been told that weeds are any plants you don't want. A consequence of being completely bored by gardening is: everything is a weed because I don't want any plants. Plants just make a garden.

One thing I tried doing to make things better was spray my weeds with herbicide. Well, in one way it worked, and in another it didn't. All the weeds died, but my front yard looks worse because it's just a wasteland of dead plants. I guess I was hoping that dead weeds were like dead vampires in Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- they just 'poof'ed away.

The only thing I actually know how to do is mow the lawn, (although I don't even do that very well -- I leave the edges unkempt). I have tried mowing the weeds, too, but that's pretty difficult, and it seems pretty ridiculous, actually. I think maybe I'll just get a shovel and turn everything over. But that's boring.

I guess boredom will be my punishment for the pain my yard inflicts on my neighbors. I do wish that I could avoid this punishment. What book should I read to become interested in gardening?